


Restless Prayers

by Satine86



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Gen, Knights of Elysian, Shitennou, Silver Millennium Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 09:10:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3351164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Satine86/pseuds/Satine86
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SilMil Jadeite piece written for the Knights of Elysian mini ficathon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Restless Prayers

**Author's Note:**

> The goal here was to write something for the shitennou based off their SMC titles. I chose Jadeite (Patience and Harmony) because he's my favorite, and I basically wrote this today (end of the deadline) because I've been an unmotivated blob.

He is young when he's called. Impetuous, with a wild streak borne from curiosity rather than rebellion, not that anyone has ever looked close enough to know. He's scared, of course, unsure for the first time in his short life. He's not certain what to make of this new world, this new title that sits heavily on his shoulders.

He finds things are different than he expected. He had grand schemes of heroic adventures and epic battles fit for a minstrel's song, but instead he finds long days full of rigorous training and tedious classes. There are endless lessons to be learned about battle and court life and politics and history. He forces himself to concentrate, commits it all to memory, all the while hoping he can live up to the expectations placed upon him. He wants to take it all in stride, flippant as he ever was. But there are thoughts and worries that eat at him, whirring around his head when he should be sleeping, telling him his place there is a mistake.

He tries to push the thoughts away, tries to slow his frantic mind anyway he can. He works himself to the point of exhaustion, reads until he's sure his mind can't hold anything else, and then he prays. Devoutly, each day, with head bent and hands tucked tightly at his sides as he has seen others do. He prays for guidance, for courage, for a true heart, and he prays that his mind be quiet. Because while he can learn to control his body to be strong and agile, he cannot control his thoughts, and until then he knows he is not worthy. He says another prayer, hoping the quiet comes soon, because he has never been a patient boy. 

Eventually though, he realizes that the prayers do not help him in the way he wants. The way he needs. So he tries to bottle it up. Bury everything deep inside, and that works for a while. Unfortunately it doesn't work forever. 

Every ounce of frustration, every bit of self-doubt he had tried so hard to ignore, starts to leak out. It bubbles to the surface and appears in rash movements on the training field, acting before he thinks and earning the ire of his mentors. It appears in biting quips that roll off his tongue before he can stop himself. 

He earns a reputation and there are whispers that follow him wherever he goes, and he knows that he is failing. Failing those who had trusted him and those he is promised to protect. He is also failing his title. If only he could see a way to fix it. He wants to do better, but how can he be patient when his mind is so restless? How can he bring harmony when his life is chaotic?

When he finally meets the others, something shifts. They offer him solace and balance, and surprisingly he finds he offers the same to them; separately they were lost, but together they are driven and whole. 

As they grow and train, they learn with each other and from each other. And he starts to see himself clearer, understands things better; he realizes that are some things you cannot take by force, because it is not a battle. Some things you must wait for, and some things you must give up on completely. 

When he is a little older and a little wiser, everything is different than it was before, yet somehow remains the same. He still has a wicked tongue and a quick mind, but they've been tempered, honed and strengthened like every other muscle. The sharpness of his tongue is reserved for those who need it, reprimands on the training field or in the barracks that are sometimes the only way to get through. 

His quick mind no longer holds him back, making it impossible to focus. Instead he is a tactician, surveying and assessing his opponents, finding their weakness and exploiting it. And now his daily prayers are because it brings him peace, not to ask for favors. He prays and meditates, easily finding that inner calm he had spent so long wishing for. It is then he knows he is truly worthy of his title. That the call was not a lie. 

Now a grown man and valued Shitennou, his life changes again. His prince, his brother, the future king, is in the throes of love. Sneaking around for months with the Moon Princess, like a besotted puppy. But that is not what changes his life. 

His life changes when one the Princess's guardians comes for her and he meets a pair of violet eyes. She – Mars – regards him with distrust, contempt. Not that he can blame her. But she is more beautiful than a tempest sky, and likely more deadly too. 

They meet time and time again, bandying words like children playing catch, each encounter a little more tense than the last. His sharp tongue and quick mind are put to the test as she proves herself again and again to be more than capable when facing off against him. There is a spark that is soon set ablaze, and he knows his life will never be the same. 

After a particularly interesting exchange, one that brought them toe-to-toe and a smile to her face, he watches her go. He stands there, unable to tear his eyes away, and wonders what this is? What it could be? He also wonders if it's something he must fight for, something he must wait for, or something he must give up on completely. 

As a million new thoughts start swarming his mind, he sends out a prayer that the answer comes soon, because he is not a patient man.


End file.
